One good reason to be a vegetarian...

If Chick Fil A used this cow to convince me to Eat More Chicken, I would listen. Problem is, it's not really a cow.

See, the preacher was giving a talk about the angels that announced the birth of Jesus. He joked that the worship team thought this was one terrifying angel. He told them it's just that they had never seen a real angel, that they were scary in real life. Somehow the poor guy missed the fact that the angel was scary because it looked more like a demonic cow. Even my teen aged son thought so.

Demonic cows like this do belong in novels. Just gotta figure out how. But the downfall of a church starts with demonic cows. They can protest the annual church picnic. Or they can be seen only by the True Believes. Hmm, back to work.

Great Quote du Jour

"Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening." Barbara Tober.

pretty much sums up life here in the Republican Holyland.

Funding Texas Public Education

It wasn't on my to-do list today, but over oatmeal this morning, I think I solved the public education funding problem in Texas. Along with the problem of Division 1A football and basketball players not graduating from universities.

There's a ton of money in College Football. Everyone knows that. And then there are complaints that not enough players in college athletics graduate. Some blame the "raw materials." So let's kill two birds with one stone. Let some money from College Athletics go to Texas Public education.

1. There's lots of money. This goes without saying.
2. You can spend it now or later. Either football (basketball too) funds schools while the future players are getting their basics done, or they'll have to pay for tutors later. Might as well do it now. Just do it, remember?
3. Better educated freshmen tend to graduate. Tend to get better grades.
4. They could at least fund high school athletics. Like farm teams, only state wide.
5. Someone's going to get the money eventually. May as well be public school kids now, rather than some other state program later.
6. Wouldn't you feel better paying $75 a ticket if you knew that some little kindergartener would be able to have a fresh box of crayons?

Not all the money, not most of the money. But could you imagine what 3% of the gate and television money from university athletics could do for your school??

What I'd like to do to spammers....

Don't know if I've posted it before. It's been out looking for a satire home, but is still homeless, so here's a place.


Email, Emote, Elope





Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 13:14:51 -0500
From: clueless@mynet.net
To: Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
Thank you so much for your generous offer. While I personally do not have a penis myself, it is good to know that if I did, enhancing it would be both discreet and affordable. I rest easier at night knowing that you are out there rounding up affordable solutions for common people. At last, massive growth is no longer for the rich and elite.

Sincerely,
Trish Carson


Date: Thu, 9 Jul 2004 11:32:51 -0500
From: clueless@mynet.net
To: Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
My goodness, you are a persistent one, aren’t you? Unfortunately, I still have not obtained a penis and cannot take advantage of this incredible offer for affordable herbal penile enlargement. However, with your kind permission, I have forwarded your timely offer to a transgendered friend of mine, Jerry. Jerry used to be Jeri, but discovered through an on-line therapy group that she was actually a man trapped in a women’s body. It was quite a revelation, to say the least. She thought she simply suffered from a mild seasonal depression. Apparently, her maleness had been suppressed for all these years. Her husband of 30 years was also shocked, as were her six children. But with her new life as a man, Jerry has no real income at the moment and cannot afford the usual surgery for people in that situation. Perhaps your product can help Jerry achieve his maximum manhood.

Sincerely,
Trish Carson.


Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 13:14:51 -0500
From: clueless@mynet.net
To: iksrhksjdfkjet@bigstuff.com
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
I received the most interesting email. You will be delighted to know that my friend Jerry has purchased your penile enlargement product and is reporting excellent results! I will be honest and say that I have not seen the “patient” with my own eyes, but Jerry told me that he can now urinate while standing and feels a strong desire to belch during football games. Not to mention a “warm tingly feeling” when the camera pans to those scantily clad cheerleaders. Jerry’s ex-husband, Butch, is beside himself with grief. He apparently feels his manhood threatened by his former wife’s new size and potency, but again, I am only telling you this second hand. I have no way of comparing the two, as Jerry has been pretty scarce as of late, roaming nightclubs and all. I have had my hands full comforting Butch and helping him with those six poor motherless children. Butch’s lawyer insists he should sue the on-line therapy group, but you know how the internet works... no accountability and ever-changing domain names. In fact, I noticed that the latest email I received from you was not from Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com at all but from a Mr. iksrhksjdfkjet@bigstuff.com, but I recognized the graphics and immediately knew it had to be you. You have quite a distinct way with words, but you probably know that.

Thank you for all the good you are doing in this horrible situation and your continued support,
Trish Carson

Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004 13:14:51 -0500
From: < clueless@mynet.net >
To: < iksrhksjdfkjet@bigstuff.com >
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
I am sorry that this has to be an email, but I have no proper physical address for you. Butch and I would like to invite you to our wedding on August 6th, 2004, at 3:00 in the afternoon at the City Hall here in Peabody, Oklahoma. I would just be delighted if you could come be a part of this celebration.

With Kind Regards,
Trish Carson


Date: Wed, 8 Sept 2004 13:21:41 -0500
From: < clueless@mynet.net >
To: < iksrhksjdfkjet@bigstuff.com >
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
Thank you so much of thinking of me once again. Your offer for on-line marriage counseling has come at a most opportune time. Jerry stopped using your remarkable product and began insisting that he is Jeri once again. This has caused much emotional anguish for poor Butch. One of his daughters has even gone so far as to accuse me of pushing Jeri to the original therapy group and breaking up her parents' marriage. Of course, I assured her that I was only trying to be a good friend and help Jerry find his true self. I also spoke in your defense as well, that you were only making sure all people had access to the available modern medical miracles. Jerry is currently institutionalized after an unfortunate accident with some herbal sleeping aids that you offered in last month's Healthy Pharmaceutical Newsletter, so the marriage counseling will be just the ticket to help Butch remember why he married me in the first place. I am just so glad that I have a friend in you who is there to support and equip me to help Butch through this temporary crisis.

Sincerely,
Trish Carson-Butterworth

Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 13:04:11 -0500
From: < clueless@mynet.net >
To: < iksrhksjdfkjet@bigstuff.com >
Subject: Re: Amazing Results...Make her happy tonight!

Dear Mr. Dodfrjjkhjkfh@ezmail.com:
Thank you so much for your kind offer for herbal breast enlargement products. I was quite surprised to get an email from you on that particular product because I had breast reduction surgery 17 years ago due to the excruciating pain of my 56EEE’s. Butch assures me that the surgeons left plenty behind, so I will not need that particular product. I did want to ask you though, would it be possible to slip the herbal penile enlargement product in, say, a gentleman’s beer, and make it so he wouldn’t taste the difference?

Trish.

What did I do?

Lately, the type of spam I have been getting has changed from advertisements for products to help my, um, performance, to hard core...day trader ads. I'm am apprised at least fifty times a day about the latest stock that is soaring and don't I want to get in on the action now?

So how did I even end up on those lists? This doesn't quite keep me up at night, but it does keep me wondering while I'm supposed to be working. Sure, I need something to assist with the delicate art of procrastination, but stock tips? I'm from Texas, stock tipping is what you do in the middle of the night while the herd is sleeping, right? Not during the day by email.

I've been thinking hard about whether or not some new newsletter has sold my email, or if spam is cyclical in nature. I mean there is a natural spam cycle, otherwise, I wouldn't get my annual Nieman Marcus cookie recipe and know that it is time to start Christmas shopping. But I don't remember a stock slam quite as bad as it has been lately, an assault on all fronts.

Cut and Run

Much has been written in Cyberland about how the Powers That Be look down upon those who would pull our troops out of Iraq. We must stay the course, They say. We cannot cut and run. That's what they call leaving the place in chaos. Cut and Run. Of course, the funny thing is, none of the people I personally know saying this have children over there saving the Middle East from Chaos.

They do however, have children. Children that they are removing from Public Schools, because of the chaos. They will not sacrifice the futures of their children to help save the public schools. (Those other children there? Let there own parents worry about them. Pass me a voucer request form.)

So to make sure I understand. Pulling troops out of harms way in another country's civil war, Cut and Run. Pulling children out of public schools until all the people who actually care and have the means and motivation to be useful are gone with them, NOT cutting and running? What's the difference?

Put another way, the purpose of education, to some, is not to better oneself in the world, but to keep a nice sized gap between the Them and Us. Education is about keeping people in their places and able to read well enough to follow orders when we send them to fight our oil corporation's, uh, I mean, country's wars.

Or would you rather be a mule...

Or would you like to swing on a star, carry moon beams home in a jar, be a lot better off than you are....or would you rather be


An airport.

That's the latest analogy for a local congregation. Big glossy photo enhanced runways adorn the lobby and the handouts. Runways. Because you're not welcome to stay very long.

From Wiki:

An airport is a facility where aircraft can take off and land. At the very minimum, an airport consists of one runway (or helipad), but other common components are hangars and terminal buildings. Apart from these, an airport may have a variety of facilities and infrastructure, including fixed base operator services, air traffic control, passenger facilities such as restaurants and lounges, and emergency services. A military airport is known as an airbase in North American terminology



Not someplace you want to hang around very much. In fact, today's airports are ground zero in the war against terror, so for sure, the little church is more an air base for war than a place to wait for your transportation to a lovely south seas vacation. You don't meet people at air ports, the ones who are there are there to serve you or search you. Someone may come in from the outside to meet you, but please call ahead, because no one wants to hang around there.

Again from Wiki :Airports have a captive audience, and consequently the prices charged for food is generally higher than are available elsewhere in the region.


I always thought a church was an embassy. Or even a consulate.

Wiki again: A diplomatic mission is a group of people from one state or an international inter-governmental organization (such as the United Nations) present in another state to represent the sending state/organization in the receiving state. In practice, a diplomatic mission usually denotes the permanent mission, namely the office of a country's diplomatic representatives in the capital city of another country...A Consulate is similar to (but not the same as) a diplomatic office, but with focus on dealing with individual persons and businesses, as defined by the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations. A Consulate is generally a representative of the Embassy in locales outside of the capital city. For instance, The British Embassy to the United States is in Washington, D.C., and there are British Consulates in Los Angeles, New York City, Houston, and so on....The role of such a mission is to protect in the receiving State the interests of the sending State and of its nationals, within the limits permitted by international law; negotiating with the Government of the receiving State as directed by the sending State; ascertaining by lawful means conditions and developments in the receiving State, and reporting thereon to the Government of the sending State; promoting friendly relations between the sending State and the receiving State, and developing their economic, cultural and scientific relations.

Yep. A place to go when you're in trouble in a foreign land. A place where people are waiting to help you.

18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,

19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

20Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.(NASV)


Not pilots, not air traffic controllers, not air marshalls, not flight attendents and not ticket agents. Ambassadors.

So not an airport or an air base, but an embassy.

My name is Crafty Peaches and I am a Web Newsletter Junkie....

They say the first step is to admit you have a problem. Well, I probably get about twenty different webbased newsletters. A week. Sure, not too bad, but I get them from both sides of the political aisle as well as several from Australia and India. Must say, the one from India is most polite.

Today, I got the Townhall.com newsletter's take on the "foiled terroist attack." (I must apologize, I do not have the funds available to come up with a logo and themesong every time the country is "under attack." ) There was about a two hundred and fifty word commentary on the author's opinion that we are strengthening the terrorists and "we in this country will have learned nothing from this near-horrific episode if we fail to strengthen our resolve to win the war on terrorism." Yeah, whatever.

Here's what gets me, the fine print at the bottom:

"Townhall.com Commentaries go past today's headlines to give you concise and penetrating insight into the most pressing challenges facing our culture today. These commentaries cover everything from politics to popular culture, from faith to international relations and family values to the progress of the war on terrorism."

Will somebody please explain to me how you can give penetrating insight in less than five hundred words of something so complex as international relations and terrorism?? Concise, sure, but enough information to form personal opinions? This seems to be a case of not "here's what I think" , but rather, "Here is what you should think, today."

He didn't need ink catridges, that's for sure.

When asked why he wrote "The Name of the Rose," Umberto Eco replied, "I felt like poisoning a monk." Seems as good reason as any to write a novel. And he didn't realize monks were such a good source of office supplies.

But that's not really what I want to rant about today. I was offered an opportunity to be a Bible Study leader in what appeared to be a low-effort Bible Study. You know, fill in the blanks on the basic essentials of the faith. Making sure we all have the doctrine thing down. Because that is exactly what is most important. And if I could think of a Christian, dead or alive, whom I admired soley for his or her immpeccable doctrine, I would let you all know.

But the offer bothered me. It was so minimal, like I am so shallow that asking me for the paltry two and half hours a week was such an extravagant request. I said no, not because they asked too much, but they asked too little. It wouldn't cost. I'm no David, but he wouldn't give a sacrifice that wouldn't cost and he was a man after God's own heart. Not sure about his doctrinal purity, but oh well.

The whole place has seen an incredible growth in the size of the paid staff, professional Christians who are there to do the hard stuff. The rest of us are there to follow the directions and do what we're told. Good sheep. I however, am a bad sheep. I'm the one who's bound to go wondering off in odd directions. Mostly because the ground isn't so trampled. Like the No Child Left Behind act in the school system dumbs down the entire learing process, the No Christian Left Behind attitude reduces service to a least common denominator. No one gets to aspire to know God better than the professional staff. There are few people that have a walk with God that I admire and would like to emulate. This saddens me. Church should be a place where you aspire to go and do great things, where the distant shores seem less misty. You should leave with the fragrance of life still clinging to your clothing. Instead, we leave with homework, "have a five minute quiet time every day." Some aspirations. But the attitude seems to be "How can you say no when so little is required?"

That's the problem. Too little is asked.

About the same time as the BS email, I received an email from the Voice of the Martyrs, a group that publicizes the persecution of Christians around the world. There are the people who when much was asked, more was given.

It hit me: American Christians aren't "persecuted" because of their spiritual beliefs. They are attacked for thier counter culture. Not for believing in Jesus, but for saything they do and living a life that says otherwise. A life that says Jesus's blood is good enough for me, but not for you, unless you... A life that says God doesn't really know what to do with people who go against His ways, but we do...
A life that proclaims a hope unfounded, yet has a stockpile in the grain silo, just in case.

It's the responses of the persecuted that give it away. The non-Americans in the email emit the spirit of "Father, forgive them, they're clueless." Versus, "Take back the country" approach favored here. That's what points me to Jesus, forgiveness and love, not a voter registration drive to get the latest Focus on the Family bigot elected to office.

But as Jane Wagner says, "The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool."

Engaging whose Culture...

If you google "engaging the culture," there are about thirty seven thousand hits. Funny, but if you google "engaging our culture" there are about four hundred. There are eighteen for "engaging your culture." It tells me that American Christians don't claim the American culture. Even though it is pretty firmly entrenched in most of us. I say this because it seems to me if one isn't enjoying the culture of our homeland, one is enjoying fighting it. Even if one is totally ignorant of what they mean by culture.

What is the American culture? Is it the works of literature and art that happen to come out of American people? Is it the movies? The products and services that we produce and purchase? What influences the culture? Is it the people who influence the culture or the culture that influences the people? Apparently from the sites, Christians can influence the culture without it influencing them back, but non Christians are certainly influenced by the culture without having much impact on it.As if the act of accepting Jesus as your lord and savior is a vaccination against cultural infection.But what I don't understand is how you can want to reach people you obviously cannot stand or respect.

I only wish I thought of it first....

(Warning, contains the word shit. Do not watch the video if that offends you. Don't watch CNN either, because you'll hear it there too. Fox news probably bleeps it.)

Our new national anthem perhaps??

http://tinyurl.com/nr52c

Satire, the art of intelligentia...

the King George Version...

Not for those who have no appreciation of fine satire...

A voice of Reason

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tony-campolo/being-an-oxymoron_b_22895.html

Tony's been one of my heroes ever since I read about his birthday party for a hooker in Phillip Yancy's What's so Amazing about Grace.

I wish I could find a picture of this...

We have this great new sculpture in town. Right between the two cities of the Texas Microplex, on the border, we have an arch way, with the sculpture smack dab in the middle. Two sisters, releasing doves. That's their story and they're sticking to it.

New people can be swayed by the nice story of two sisters releasing nice peaceful doves.

But there's trouble here in the Twin Cities. Trouble that starts with "T" and that rhymes with "B" which stands for...

Birds.

We have major bird issues here, and I'm not talking about the influx of Birders who think they would get to see some rare species here and come in droves in the summer. (I don't know if they come in droves. If they do, it's hard to distinguish them from the cheerleaders, firemen, soccer, football, softball, and tennis players who are all here for one thing or another. And the incoming freshmen with their over protective uber-parents. But we're talking Birds here.)

I believe Mr. Hitchcock was inspired by our bird troubles here. Sure, the birds are supposed to be crows in his classic film, but don't they bear a striking resemblence to our beloved grackles??
the Bird Problem solved...


Of course, we have tons of bird experience. Remember the egrets? read about them here.


My first grackle experience was my freshman year at A&M. The dorm at spring break. An explosion rocked my modular dorm, shaking the window. I went to the hall and found the neighbor, a senior engineering major, studying in the hall. She looked up and said, "Bird bombs. It's quieter out here."
Yep, even in 1983, the campus sent trucks with cannons around to discourage nesting grackles.

But the thing is, this statue? It's supposed to be two little girls releasing doves?

If you drive by really slow and look carefully, I swear it's two little girls fighting off a grackle attack.

It's about keeping score, isn't it?

I've heard it said that money doesn't really mean anything except as a way of keeping score. It's the point system that helps companies know how they are doing in the world. If the top leaders are driving Mercedez to the airport to get on the private jet, things must be going well, right? Well, not as well as if the leaders aren't driving and the chauffeur is, but you get the point.

Thing is, in all of Jesus' parables and lessons, I don't see Him giving us a clear way to keep score. Which leaves a problem for the church. How do you know you're doing OK without a means of keeping score? Count heads in pews? Postcards stating "re-committment"?

Um, how about measurable goals? When do we cross the line between setting our sights high for God and sounding like an oil company plotting the next quarter?

From a local congregation:

1. EVANGELIZE THE LOST
100% of our membership and 60% of our congregation trained in and actively
engaged in evangelism according to their gifting within 5 years.
100% of GBC members and 60% of our congregation will participate at least
annually in a community outreach or service project.
We will personally communicate the gospel of grace to every resident of B/CS within
a generation.
Within 5 years we will personally communicate the gospel of grace to every student
at xxx and xxx before he or she graduates.

...there's more, but I don't want to go beyond fair use here.

Yep, definitely a way to keep score. So what if these things happen? Or what if they don't? Can we really justify running a church like a business? How exactly does someone measure "evangelism according to their gifting"? By attendance, or my worse fears, the collection plate?

Measurable Goals for an Immeasurable God

In the on-going pursuit of a Da Vinci Free life (but you have to mention it to get Google time), I have been researching various topics for upcoming projects and have come up with the following conclusion:

If I have to hear about measurable and manageable goals one more time, I'm going to be sick.

I think this may be the downfall of American ingenuity. Americans don't discover and don't innovate any more, because not many things of value come from manageable, measureable goals. Think about it. Schools teach us to set these types of goals, thinking that attaining them will increase our self esteem. Because of the mistaken idea that failure sinks the spirit. But does it? What is really better, to accomplish a mediocre goal, or to fail spectacularly at some impossible task? What ever happened to reaching beyond one's reach, to attempt things unthinkable? A prize just beyond the fingertips, one that demands overreaching, or even the intervention of God Himself?

There are parents around who push their kids to be excellent in all things, but unless the kids are passionate about one of their duties, the parents aren't raising innovators, just nicely trained seals. Even in church, with our manageable measurable "x% of the congregation doing y" goals, I no longer feel the desire to BE better, just the pressure to DO better. Because of course, doing is both manageable and measureable.

Manageable Measurable goals should be banned from the language of God's people, if not the English language. How can we require manageable, measureable results form the people of a decidedly Un-manageable, Immeasureable, God? This makes zero sense, except that as "good" christians, we are supposed to obey, not think. We're supposed to sacrifice the wildness of God for the tameness of duty, passion for balance.

I just can't picture the Father taking His Son to the circus to watch the trained seals. Not matter how many pretty beach balls they can balance.

More on the Cornwall Declaration

This is not something good to think about at night. It leads to nightmares and really bad novel ideas. But if anyone ever starts to seriously consider this as an actual policy, that would keep lots of people up at night.

It's the double speak that bothers me. After stating that God created all things, the writers go on to state a belief:

Cornwall Declaration

2. Many people believe that "nature knows best," or that the earth—untouched by human hands—is the ideal. Such romanticism leads some to deify nature or oppose human dominion over creation. Our position, informed by revelation and confirmed by reason and experience, views human stewardship that unlocks the potential in creation for all the earth's inhabitants as good. Humanity alone of all the created order is capable of developing other resources and can thus enrich creation, so it can properly be said that the human person is the most valuable resource on earth. Human life, therefore, must be cherished and allowed to flourish. The alternative—denying the possibility of beneficial human management of the earth—removes all rationale for environmental stewardship.


So, am I reading that although God created nature, He doesn't control it anymore? I understand it is corrupted by our sin in the Fall and it groans for the redemption (somewhere in 1Corinthians, I believe) but this outright says that the earth without human intervention as the ultimate and that we know better than the creator. That to believe that God knew what He was doing when He created the earth and all that is in it is romanticism?? I pray we would all become incurable romantics, then. I find this a bit arrogant.


Human persons are moral agents for whom freedom is an essential condition of responsible action. Sound environmental stewardship must attend both to the demands of human well being and to a divine call for human beings to exercise caring dominion over the earth. It affirms that human well being and the integrity of creation are not only compatible but also dynamically interdependent realities.

Well, yeah, we are moral agents. And there is definitely independence, at least on our part, on the earth. I know we couldn't survive without our planet. The question is, would our planet survive without us?? This declaration seems to say, no.

Now the aspirations... these are um, interesting.


4. We aspire to a world in which liberty as a condition of moral action is preferred over government-initiated management of the environment as a means to common goals.
5. We aspire to a world in which the relationships between stewardship and private property are fully appreciated, allowing people's natural incentive to care for their own property to reduce the need for collective ownership and control of resources and enterprises, and in which collective action, when deemed necessary, takes place at the most local level possible.


So, what I am reading here, is that people, as moral agents, need freedom to do the right thing and don't need any government initiative. At least when it comes to the environment. As in, we know what is right and wrong and can be trusted to do the right thing. So why is that the case in the environment and not in social issues??? We know abortion is wrong, why can't we trust people not to have them? Why do the anti-abortionists need laws? We know that murder is wrong, why do we need government initiative there? It's wrong for corporations to not pay their workers overtime, why do we need a law about that?

It's the double standard that bothers me. If this group really believes that corporations can be trusted to do the right thing by the environment without government initiated structure, they are sorely wrong. They are willing to trust the natural incentive to stand strong on some forms of sin, but not all.

Brains or Brawn?

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the
greatest virtues.
-- Rene Descartes, 'Le Discours de la Methode,' 1637

According to this quote, we aren't in that much danger from the current administration. Unless, somewhere, deep in the White House, maybe in the swimming pool under the press room, there are some smart people hiding and plotting their rise to power and the demise of the common folk.

Did Jesus Hug Trees?

I was pointed recently to the site of the Interfaith Stewardship and their Cornwall Declaration. It's a several page position paper on faith and the environment. I'm still reading it. It will take several passes, I'm sure, because there are a lot of Ph.d's on the author page.

What I see so far:

They seem to think that public policies to save the environment, hur the poor the most.

The difference between "real" and "alleged" problems are scary to me.
Apparently , real problems are proven, well understood, localized, of concern to people in developing nations, high and firmly established risk to human life and help and solutions to "real" problems are const effective and maintain proven benefit.

Anything else, is an "alleged" problem. These "alleged" problems are speculative, global and catclysmic, mainly of concern to environmentalists in wealthy nations, low and hypothetical risk, solutions are costly and of dubious benifit.

from Cornwall Declaration

There's a ton more, and I'll report as I read, but offhand, with just this one section, I'd say most of Bible Prophecy is just alleged problems. Most of them weren't proven, not until they happened. Some of the prophecy was localized, but much is global. I'd say at this point, while the end of the world is a certainty, it is in some ways hypothetical, since none of us living human folks really KNOW what is going to happen, so it too would be an alleged problem to the environment.


I've got a lot to think about, but head on over to the site if you want to play along at home.

Tomorrow: So how many times IS free market in the Bible? Because it's all over the Cornwall Declaration.

Discretion is the better part of valor...

Said by Falstaff in King Henry the Fourth, Part One, by William Shakespeare.

Also said, much more frequently by my late father. It's probably the phrase I moat associate with him, along with Rank has its privileges. Of course, Falstaff was meaning discretion in battle, not to charge foolhardedly. My father, on the other hand, meant discretion meaning who you tell what to. Not quite my mother's alcoholic child type secrecy about everything, just good old fashioned, everyone really isn't interested in what you had for breakfast last week.

In that vein, I present the Top Ten Occasions Not to talk about your Hemorroids:

10. Any meal, private or public. This includes the Lord's Supper.

9. Public restrooms.

8. Walmart. Talking in hushed tones in the pharmacy to one of the licensed "people who could actually be helpful and are paid to listen to that type of thing" is acceptable. Talking to your daughter about it in housewares is not.

7. Any confined space. Car, airplane seat and elevator all included.

6. Victoria's Secret. Let's be honest. Thongs and the big H are mutually exclusive.

5. Telling the world you accidently used Preparation H for toothpaste is very close to talking about 'roids. Watch yourself.

4. Although the condition is part of every post-partum horror story, be careful of mixed company. The non-female members of society do no understand that the roid pain can be dramatically lessened by the pain of the um, stitches.

3. The woman cutting your hair and the man helping you try on shoes are not nodding in sympathy. They screaming in their heads "THIS PERSON NEEDS BOUNDARIES!!" They will be at the intervention where your family and friends confront you about your need to go back to Kindergarten to learn about Personal Space, both physically and emotionally.

2. Media of any kind. No press releases, no televison news, no blogs. Please note that I am not discussing my own traumas here, but giving helpful advice to those who so obviously need it.

1. Church. Especially if you are the pastor. Especially if you are giving the sermon on Easter Sunday and you are relating them to Jesus' pain on the cross. The eerie silence you hear isn't admiration, it's shock.


Nuff said.

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Salon dot com has an opinion essay up about a new book by Caitlyn Flanagan, To Hell with All That : Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife. The scuttlebutt is that it's another Frey experience. Flanagan is a "stay at home" mom, who is a published writer. She writes regularly for several big name glossy, non homemaker magazines, etc. So she's not a non-working mom, she does work and earn an outside income from home. Seems she didn't really give up her career, just scaled back. Funny thing is, apparently, she has twins and had housekeepers, nannies and babysitters before the kids started preschool half days. I could be a stay at home mom with that kind of staff.

Anyway, it's funny how gender politics don't really change...

Restart Now??

My lovely Windows updater found some new files that my computer couldn't live without. Since it was 4:40 in the morning and I wasn't thinking yet, I hit sure, go ahead and up date, then went to make coffee. I put the filter in, measured out the grounds, filled the cup with water and set it under the spout. When I went back to pick up said coffee, I realized that all I had was a cup of lukewarm water with some creamer in it. Seems I didn't pour the water into the actual machine. Silly machine, didn't it know that's what I intended to do?

So that was my state of mind, oh, an hour ago. But I did pour the water in and am now enjoying a hot cup of Folgers Columbian roast, with sugar free French vanilla creamer. I know, too much information, but I need to start learing how to write with details, and this is my practice field.

Point is, now, every five minutes, I get a message from the operating system: Windows would like to restart you computer. Restart Now? Later?

It came to me. That's Easter. I had been rueing the fact that here it is, Holy Week and I hadn't really thought any about the history of the week, yadda yadda, and here it is in a 2 by three window on my screen every five minutes. Would you like to restart?

Easter is a huge reminder each spring, Would you like to restart your life? That's what resurrection, born-again, all the little buzz words really are getting at. You get to restart your life. Sure, the old stuff is still hanging around, but that's the outer, the inner is new and improved. Easter comes, whether you ask it to or not and insists, would you like to restart? Even when you're not thinking about it. And there is the option of later, but do you want to take that chance? What kind of stuff can creep in while you're piddling around, doing your little things, putting off the restart? Shoot, the system can become infected, compromised, or even hijacked. And while it has always been vulnerable, now you are aware of it and the knowledge is sitting in the back of your brain like old fish in the refrigerator. You can try to ignore it, but no way, no how.

His mercies are new every morning, the psalmist writes. Every day is a restart. What every you did, or didn't do yesterday, is gone and today is a fresh slate. What are you going to do with it?

As for me, that silly window is driving me nuts. I'm going to restart....

Rambling along...

You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.
-- Senator Patrick Leahy, May 1990



Herein lies the difference between the two parties. One party says fit in, the other says do your own thing, ie Stand Out. Which is why, I think, it is much more difficult for the Democratic Party to find electable candidates. Too wide a range of opinions. Not saying all Republicans think totally alike, but there is a narrower range of ideas in the pool. Wider range of ideas naturally leads to a wider range of disagreements. Face it, the party has people in the conservative mold, like Chet Edwards, to people like the Kennedy's. Whereas, the Reps have the huge range of Bush/Cheney to, uh, McCain, who is starting to "fit in" and play with others a whole lot more these days.

What would an electable Democrat look like? I mean, the big problem is that the two middles aren't too far apart, so a moderate from one party matches a moderate from the other. We just keep putting extremists against extremists. Not a good thing.

Here in town, we have had the WORST political runoff campaign ever. Talk about picking the worse of two evils. Who do you pick? The allegedly corrupt "lion" incumbent, who is accused of sexual harassment, abandoning his family, and having temper issues? Or the other guy, who quotes Bible verses about humility and integrity, yet owes the IRS over eighty thousand dollars. Ooops. The think that kills me is that this is the runoff. These are the two men with the most votes. Can't the multitude of Republicans in this town do any better, especially since there are no Dems to run against the winner in the fall??

I didn't vote at all in the primaries. Got a petition to sign. Kinky for Governor, why the hell not?

The Reluctant Gardener...

I don't know if it's because I'm trying to finish John Le Carre's The Reluctant Gardener, or if it's the fact that previous owners of our new house spent A TON of money on landscaping and I feel some need to keep it at least maintained, but I spent a good two hours yesterday putting in flowers and mulch in the "front" garden. Still have the other front garder and the side garden to go. And the back garden, the patio garden. The big one in the back yard will be a synthetic green, if things go as planned.

Anyway, I spent about 90 bucks on shrubs, flowers and mulch. I am obviously doing it wrong, since Congress is using my tax money to re do their gardens as well.


From theThe Citizens Against Government Waste Pig Book 2006 the annual Pork report.

"$450,000 added by the House for plantings on the eastern front of the Capitol. This will allow members of Congress a chance to “stop and smell the roses” before they proceed with plunging the country deeper into debt."


Hmm, what could I do with a half million for plants? Gee, I could buy an entire LANDSCAPING COMPANY. Sorry Mr. Congressman. There are people in our country who can't afford to feed children, much less a house plant, and you all want how much to have some nice beds in front of your office?? At least mix in a few vegetables. You can give away nice salads with the pork roast...

Homeland Security?


It seems that the Fourth ranking deputy of our Homeland Security office has a hobby.It involves the Internet and fourteen year old Florida girls. Don't think you need anymore details, you all have imaginations.

A personal friend was involved in something like this earlier this year and it just about crushed me. Now, with a high ranking government guy doing the same thing, well lets just say YUCK!

First off, what makes someone willing to risk family, career, etc, for a child?? I can't really wrap my mind around that. What is missing, what hole is there there that requires the use child to fill the need?

Compassion turned off a second. Outrage on. What is going on if we're not even safe from HOMELAND SECURITY??? And (cynicism on) how long until someone says this is a left wing media attempt to bring down a "good man." According to some light Googling, he is the deputy press secretary. Kind of the second "face" of the Department. Extrapolation, I guess that means he knows how to work the press and how to deal with media. Nothing deals with him on the DHS website, just his phone number, so you can call and let him know what you think. And we are under an "Elevated" terror risk today. I ought to keep tabs on that like I do the air quality and pollen counts.

Let's see, pollen count - high, Air quality, acceptable, terror threat, medium, hmm a good day for a long run. I feel especially safe because I am NOT a fourteen year old girl.

He even told her what he did for a living. Did she believe him, or did she think he was some punk trying to impress her? Even with the government issued cell phone numbers, she could have not believed him. Who knows. The good news is that the Department includes, (from the DHS website) Office of Inspector General – employees work side-by-side with special agents, attorneys, engineers, and IT experts to prevent and detect fraud, waste, and abuse in Homeland Security programs and operations. And technology experts: U.S. Secret Service – employees have the dual missions of protecting our nation’s leaders, and criminal investigation involving law enforcement, security, information technology, communications, administration, intelligence, forensics, and other specialized fields.

There are employees trained to find abuse and use information technology, right there in the department. No need for outside help. Go team.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing...

it is still a foolish thing.
-- Anatole France

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate,
because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can
understand.
-- Bertrand Russell



I took a class once that gave out a survey so we could find out what kind of listener we were. There were some who listened for entertainment, some who listened for facts, and a few other types, but my type was the one where everything I heard had to be assimilated into already owned knowledge. Kind of like every sentence I heard had to be filed in it's proper place before I could go on to the next.

I can't find the exact test, that's a task for another day, but the thing is, the test pointed out that if you are the "assimilation" listener, if you don't have a hook to hang the information on, you make one up, or make the info fit the hook you have. So if you have a broad range of knowledge, are fairly well read, etc, you have plenty of hooks to put new knowlege on, that's cool. But it you live in a bubble, and only hear certain sides (0r get your news from one source), you tend to force things to fit on the hooks you have, since it does require you to learn new things to make new hooks.

People who listen for entertainment don't have to work nearly as hard. Neither do the people who listen for facts. Like there's a different storage system. But a day of a conference or meetings plum wears me out, while others can sit through these things without a sweat. I used to sit in on meeting while the place I worked developed a new software package. I would have to represent the users needs to the programmer and then translate the programmers questions and procedures to the users. I would go home at night with my head on fire. My co workers thought I was nuts. Same goes for church. One hour, one sermon, that's about my limit. After that, nothing is being processed anymore.

Life is context. New things have to fit into our old life. That's what makes change difficult for some. The new ways don't fit into the old context. New wine destroys old wine skins, to quote Another's analogy. With communication and technology, a lot of what we know of how the world works is changing. How we look at commerce, war, agriculture, climate, all of it is taking on a bigger, yet smaller scope. But when we put the new ideas and information into our tired old brains, there are two things that can happen. One is, we subconciously change the information to read/hear what we already know. We put conflicts especially into previous fights. Comparing old events to current events, even though the two are quite different. Personally and politically.

Or two, we need a nap.

Suddenly, the idea of an afternoon siesta seems inspired.

What do you call it?

When 42 percent of a state's population works for said state?
a) A type of income tax refund
b) Welfare
c) Alabama

According to my psuedo reliable source, the answer is c) Alabama. Of course, my pseudo reliable source is a slightly loopy state employee. She works (manages) one of the many Alabama Welcome centers. Otherwise known as a rest stop with brochures for one of the 1056 attractions in Alabama, including an actual Huey, as the helicopter is known.

Her welcome center is scheduled to be closed for some construction next year, and she and her four woman staff are supposed to tour the state of Alabama next year, visiting all the tourist spots so they can recommend them. Which leads to several questions:

If the welcome center is closed for a year, does that mean Alabama is closed for the year? Or just not very welcoming?

Is there enough to do in Alabama for five women in a minivan to stay busy for a year?

Would you want your state tax dollars to fund such an expedition? Especially when your state isn't exactly known for it's high dollar educational system? (I know, we Texans should talk)

And finally, should I change the state traveled when I write this book? Because five drama queens in a minivan touring Alabama, well, shoot, you don't expect me to leave that one alone, do you???

It isn't a new concept....

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick
themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
-- Sir Winston Churchill


The word of 2005 according to the Amerian Dialect society, is the one Stephen Colbert used to decribe his Comedy Central show, Truthiness. Not what is true, he explains, but what you feel in your heart Should Be True. Facts? I don't need no stining facts, in other words. But as Churchill points out, people have been seeing exactly what they want to see for years. Lifetimes, even.

I bring this up, after a long, loud conversation with a fourth grader who told me that his goal in life was to join a gang. But he couldn't tell me why, except that he wanted to. The epitome of being led by emotions, but having no clue of what they are and where they are leading him. He said that he was tired of having to listen to everyone at school. But, I asked him, does that mean you'll be in charge of the gang, or do you just want different people telling you what to do? He didn't have an answer for that either. Go figure.

Turth and logic, Fox news aside, are getting rarer and rarer. I can see things in the education system that are in place to help kids understand their feelings, and all that, which is good, because no one at home is teaching them that. But no one is teaching how to think, how to reason out the consequences. How to find out what is truth and what is only truthiness.

The Ultimate Reason to lose weight now...

Want to lose weight? Kill someone. It's easier to lose weight for a trial than for a prom or wedding, or even a class reunion. The new Jenny Craig Watchers comes with a patented knife and an exercise program designed to build upper body strength.



I'm following a local murder trial. At first I ignored it as the ususal domestic violence out of hand murder, but when an acquaintance of mine was supeonaed and I had to go work for her, my interest got a bit piqued.

The defendent is accused of killing her allegedly abusive boyfriend. She testified that she thought her very life was in danger there in the kitchen, so she grabbed the closest knife and beat him to the punch, so to speak. The victim's wife testified that the man himself was prone to being abusive.

Here's the kicker for me. The prosecution accuses the defendent of being coached. Hmm, if I was an undereducated woman of color facing a panel of my "peers" and a bunch of white male attorneys and judges, you know, I would welcome some coaching, wouldn't you? It doesn't take much to walk in this woman's flip flops. She's on trial for her life and the prosecution says she is being coached. Of course she is being coached. Sitting on the witness stand isn't something that comes naturally to most people. I'm sure the ADA "prepped" his or her witnesses as well. The question is, when does prepping become coaching?

But that, in itself, is not the real thing that gets me. The prosecutor accuses the woman of, (I am not making this up) Losing weight on purpose to look better for the jury. As in, Hmm, I'm the defendent in a murder trial next month, I should lose a few pounds. Is there a Weight Watchers group that meets at the County Jail?

If you have EVER tried to lose weight for an event, a STRESSFUL event, you know it's plum near impossible. You would think that if you're the type to put on weight under stress, the idea of having to lose weight to save your life, would be enough stress to undermine the whole process. Not to mention the fact that the jailhouse food most likely isn't the most conducive to weight loss. Just a guess, I've never eaten there, although now I'm curious. If she indeed lost weight that fast to impress the jury, she has a new diet book out tomorrow and it will be a best seller.

Of course, the opposite thing is what I think. If you're facing a trial and 99 years in prison, I'm thinking it's kind of a natural appetite suppressant.

The implications of the ADA's question are stunning:

You can't get a fair trial if you are an overweight black woman. Large women look guilty. If you want to be found innocent, you must look thin and therefore successful.

You can easily drop weight under the stress of trial preparation with minimal effort. No problem. Anyone can do it. Just do the jail house version of Atkins. Ask any woman how easy it is to lose weight for an event. They will gush that whenever there is a major event in their lives, weight just falls off - NOT. Maybe for those people who don't eat when their depressed, but not for stress eaters. I'm thinking that losing weight, while surely helping in personal appearance and first impressions, is more like a symptom than a goal. I'm sure that if I was on trial for murder, losing weight would be the first thing on my mind. And that alone would be a good excuse for the insanity defense.

Retreat....

As I was sitting in church last Sunday, I was treated to the multi media, uh, powerpoint with music, presentation of the promotion of the latest women's retreat. Lots of photographs of well dressed, nice women, looking like they're having a great time. It's billed as a great time away, a time to be silly, not too draggy and spritual, a time to relax and make new friends.

I've been to several retreats. I must be retreat impaired. I meet and get to know many new people, but once we get back to the real world, I never see them more than two and half minutes at a time again. Must be me.

I was thinking of the message of the ads though. It is billed as a place to relax, have fun, etc. Not too heavy and spiritual. This is what confuses me. I mean, I need a place to be heavy and spiritual. I can be silly at home. I can relax at home. I can be myself at home. Why go to this retreat where the prevaling value is who can be more outrageous? Or the other value, who can cry at small group time?

The more I think about it, the more I really want to go to one of those silent retreats. The ones where you meet with a spritual director in the morning, really the only non-Jesus person you get to know during the weekend, and then spend the rest of the day in silence, listening. Maybe some worship time at night. To me, that seems more relaxing than the frenetic pace and competition of a Ladies, We're going to wild and crazy and you may even learn something retreat.

Of course, the speakers this year come from the house of the Grand Inquisitioner himself, which probably fuels my skepticism. Two women who wrote a book about family life, etc. So you retreat away from your family to learn how to run your family spiritually. Or the way God would want you to. I hesitate to use the word Scripturally , since there aren't many families in Scripture I'd want to emulate. I think the main problem I have with Focus on the Family is the word Family is capitalized and the The isn't. We should be focused on The Family, as in God's family, not just the little nu-cleer family that seems to be so worshipped. And the problem with that is, like anything else, you don't get to pick your family. You don't get to decide who is in God's family. He does. And if you don't agree, tough. Just like His work should be first, so should His family. Now sure, our little families are a part of it all. But not the end all, be all.

Executive summary. I'm not going to the silly retreat. I'm looking for a silent retreat. I'm sure the world would appreciate me not talking for a whole weekend.

The collection grows....

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.
-- Abraham Lincoln

I have always had an awareness of power. I don't know if it was because one of my father's favorite responses to a question was rank has it's privileges or what. But it's there. My fascination, obsession, with it doesn't always find fellow travelers. I once mentioned in a Bible Study that I thought one of the biggest problems people had with Jesus was sibling rivalry - we were jealous that He got to be God and we didn't. I don't remember seeing that many blank faces staring at me before. I might have been accidently speaking in tongues, for I know. A big no no at our Bible Church.

Research has included Barbara Ehrnreich's Nickel and Dimed, on (Not) getting by in America. She basically takes a few months out of her life, works minimum wage jobs and tries to make a living, you know, pay rent, etc. She has the advantage of having PH.D in Biology, of course, but apparently knowledge of the multiplication of one celled life doesn't matter when you're a Merry Maid in Maine. It's quite a fascinating book. In the very beginning, she mentions that her family isn't that far from its blue collar roots. Her grandfather, or father, was a miner, and her husband did factory work until he got on as a union organizer. Thing is, it wasn't that foreign a culture for her. But for the rest of the "rich" the life of the maids that clean their houses are just as different as the life of some Muslim prince. Here in America. Difference is, the upper crust doesn't have as much awareness of it, at least not a truly compassionate understanding. Just haven't been there.

More fodder. We'll see where it goes.

More quotes on power

A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil
means.
-- Sallust, 'Jugurthine War,' 41 B.C.

The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without
abusing it.
-- Lord Macaulay, review of Lucy Aikin, 'Life and Writings
of Addison,' 1943

So the proof of lack of virtue is to possess boundless power and totally abusing it? Or maybe proof of humanity. I had a social studies teacher, Mr. Novak, in 9th grade. He taught the second half of the year, American History. Which was tough for him. It was 1979 and the man still could not say Nixon's name without stuttering. He was the mayor of North Plainfield, when he wasn't corrupting young high school minds with his democratic ideas. I remember several things about him, his large aviator style glasses, his longish, light brown hair. Thinking about those things, I realize he wasn't exactly old, but when you're a high school freshman, everyone is old. But he was most likely in his thirties. Anyway, his other favorite old saw was "It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice." He said that one every day, along with the famous, Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I wonder whatever happened to him. It's funny how some teachers stick with you. Unfortuneately, google doesn't help much here. The two teachers I remember the most, Novak and Smith, there's nothing on them. The one I disliked the most as useless, he's the interim superintendent. Figures, those who can, do. those who can't, teach, those who can't teach, administrate.

I don't know how well it would go over these days, to have the mayor of a local town as a high school teacher. I do know it gave us a great perspective of local politics and the way people in our towns thought. Or didn't think, as the case may go. Most political decisions, it seems, are made by emotion rather than careful consideration of facts. Something the protagonists in my new book with work with extensively.

So I can find these quotes later....

I'll put them here. I find them inspiring to the new project.



I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-- Galileo Galilei

You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though
it does big things badly, does small things badly, too.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith

I improve on misquotation.
-- Cary Grant

Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer

Today at church, we had a guest speaker, a fellow from Dallas Theological Seminary who wrote an Anti-Da Vinci code book. He was a great speaker, and it was quite lovely to be treated like a grown up with a working brain at church again. It's been awhile. But in the back of my mind, the whole time, I was a bit envious of Dan Brown. How cool it would be to write a book that caused that much backwash! De-bunking his book has become a cottage industry for the Christian press, on top of the movie, the books, the coffee table editions with the Renassaince art, etc. Dr. Bock talked about how Brown changed his website and intros to go from saying he believed it to all be true, to a more moderate stance. The man may be a liar or not, but he is a marketing whiz.

Red plus Blue equals Purple...

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican
friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we
will stop telling the truth about them.
-- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech during 1952 Presidential
Campaign

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are
dishonest men in national government too.
-- Richard M. Nixon

At least we know, there has ALWAYS been a gap between the R's and the D's. I mean, sure it might get wider now and then, but I'm starting to think that W's right, he may become a unifying factor after all. By the next election cycle, we might all be very afraid of the man and his staff. It's no so much the basic, the conservatism etc, but the imperialism that bothers me. They seem to have the line down, "We're from the government, we're here to help." I'd love to somehow make this into some kind of warped, modern version of the Brothers Karamazov. You have the whole Inquistion, which can be our little wire tap thing, and all kinds of other, "People don't want to be free, they want to be secure thing." Of course, it would help if I would reread the Brothers. Put that one on the summer todo list.

Getting the modern information isn't so much a problem. But a modern retelling would be a fun project. The brothers Bush, and it would be about W and Jeb. I'm starting to really like the idea, actually. I might start actually making some notes about it. Start some free writing, that kind of thing.

Of course I know that this blog is SO durn popular that some famous author could come take my idea and make it his own. Stay away, Dan Brown. I know you're out there.

Storm Structure...

I've been reading, or rather, re-reading, a book by Natalie Goldberg called Thunder and Lightening. Go figure, it's a book about writing, and surprisingly, a book mostly about writing fiction and her struggles with it.

Most appropriately, I'm reading it during the spring storm season. The biggest storms come when organized systems crash into each other. That's something to ponder for a while when it comes to putting conflict in fiction.

One thing Ms. Goldberg talks about in this book is the need for structure in fiction. And though she briefly talks about outlines and her inability to use them, she does talk about her laissez-faire upbringing and her innate need for structure growing up that led to her study of Buddhism. Her mother was strictly hands off and uninvolved, not the typical Jewish mother. I thought it rather ironic myself that a Jewish woman would grow up to seek structure in Zen. But her past displayed the structure of Judaism, (and most likely Christianity) as something imposed from the outside and not organic, coming from within. Goldberg attributes the seventies' growth in the Eastern religions as part of the desire of that generation for an inner structure.

I think we all desire that inner structure. The church I go to, after struggling with "issues" has dealt with the problem by imposing outer structure. Issues? Ok, it struggles with sex. The problem of outer structure is that the rules and rituals themselves can easily become the very methods of heaven. Because the act of doing, of following the rules, can make the follower feel "clean." Like the very act of stepping through the door of a church could save. Which, I guess it could, if that's the best you could do faithwise.

Legalism grows in the the soil of desire for structure. Part of our church's "structure" is understanding. You must have understanding to be saved. Belief, sure, but understanding? Can you be truly "saved" in the evangelical sense and not have a clue to what you are saved from or by? Some can never wrap their brains around the theology, does that preclude them from heaven? Maybe this is where God uses the "foolish things" to confound the wise. Can "so great a salvation" be readily explained in four easy steps? And if it can, is it that great?? If you don't/can't understand, does that mean you're not?

Like the famous Kennedy Questions. If you die tonight, how sure are you that you'll go to heaven? 50%? 99 96/100's? According to theology, you can and should be one hundred percent sure. There's scripture to back that up, of course. It ignores the section where Jesus talks about people who will be surprised and say Lord Lord, and Jesus tells them He never knew them. Where are the percentages here?

Is it possible to doubt theology without doubting Christ? I sure hope so. But I feel in some way that those around me are trying to box Jesus in, contain Him, control Him, by understanding. As if, a while back, we let Jesus get out of control and bad things happened. It's a fine line between freedom and license and too easy to cross. Back away from the canyon. There's no protective barrier, unless you build your own.

So, that's what churches do. They put up a wall and a border patrol they are comfortable with. But a life lived in fear of sin is awfully small and tight. Growth is restricted by structure, rather than guided by it. Outer imposed structure stunts. Inner structure, guides. And God wrote, "I will write My Law on their hearts..." Sounds like inner structure is His choice as well...

At the foot of the master

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government
working for you.
-- Will Rogers

Says the master political humorist. He would certainly enjoy the current state of political affairs. I still cannot believe how many gung ho anti terrorist neocons have absolutely no problem with a foreign government running key military ports. Asinine. One had the gumption to say, we shouldn't hold it against the company DP if a few bad apples passed through their country. Ok, if you feel that strongly about it, why not let them take over White House security as well? That would free up a few more Marines and Secret Service guys to go fight the civil war in Iraq. Shoot, let's let them secure all our embassies as well. That'll free up even more Marines. I mean, DP is safe, right? No reason they can't run the White House and a few embassies just because a few bad apples passed through.

Some one else compared it to the Oklahoma City bombing, like American Companies can't run the ports either, since they are tainted by Timothy McVeigh. Please. Like there isn't a difference between some nutcase driving a rental truck of bomb next to a federal building and the coordinated efforts of a bunch of foreign nationals to hijack and crash five passenger jets and crash them similtaneously into key targets.

I wish I could understand the thought processes going on here and how letting DP run the ports is a good thing. The military doesn't seem to think so, and I think we ought to listen to their opinion on this one. Otherwise, doesn't matter how many vests they wear, they have neon targets on them.

The sad thing, is I don't even think Master Rogers would find any of this funny.

The Quotable Peach

One of my hobbies, besides writing unsellable historical fiction, watching the dog sleep, and playing spider solitaire (whew, I'm busy!) is collecting odd quotes.

Got some doozies today:



Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions
at all.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Blame someone else and get on with your life.
-- Alan Woods

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.
-- Willis Player


And my favorite....

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the
computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per
gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
-- Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

Isn't that the truth!!!

Packing for a move...

Some one offered to email me something about an upcoming soccer party, then back pedaled. "I forgot, you're moving, you'll have the computer packed up."

Where were her priorities. When moving, this is it:

Hook up fridge - oh, wait, that's done, it conveyed.

Hook up washer and dryer - done, also conveyed.

set up beds - like I'm really going to sleep?

set up computer

but all I have to do is plug in my wireless dsl router and turn on my laptop and we're surfing. If Verizon does their job. And they will, because if they don't, they will be the victims of the most brutal bloggings since Rush Limbaugh's America Held Hostage them of the Clinton administration. And blogging is even better than talk radio for reaching people who don't remember the Clinton Administration, because they were still watching Blue's Clues and Dora the Explora.

It's all about Priorities...

The Philosophy of Crafty Peaches

There are several theories floating around about the philosophy of Crafty Peaches. Or is it the psychology of Crafty Peaches? No bother. But, in the form of a top ten list:

10. If it come as a spam message, it is fodder for anything Crafty Peaches to write about. Humor is optional.

9. If something is offensive to you, you don't have to read it. Even if you are my friend. Hopefully, tomorrow, I'll bother someone else.

8. Most of these posts will come before coffee in the morning. Use that information as a filter.

7. There may come a day when there are too many blogs in the cyber world. A day when there are not enough words left to populate the files of every wannabee writer on the internet. A day when servers will crash and disks will err. But not this day, this day we write!

6. Did I mention that this is an experiment to see how fast I can get my crafty peaches blog to the top spot on the Google search for Crafty Peaches? So naturally, I will use the words Crafty Peaches as much as I can in each and every Crafty Peaches post. More value for you the reader!

5. If you would like to meet the rest of the produce department, there's http://the randomtalentedfruit.blogspot.com. The Random Talented Fruit generator. Like a old pub where the locals go to argue about politics and soccer rules.

4. Yes, you are correct. I am spending too much time on the whole Crafty Peaches universe. But wait until you see the t-shirt.

3. Why, yes, I AM Crafty Peaches. Please don't confuse me with Crappy Pleasers, who meet for a self-help assertiveness training group at justsaynodammit.blogspot.com

2. That was a lie. There is no justsaynodammit.blogspot.com But it's available and I won't even charge you. Consider it one more instance of the excellent customer service that will be a part of each and every post here at Crafty Peaches.

1. Crafty Peaches. Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches Crafty Peaches


Are we there yet?

I couldn't resist...

Crafty Peaches is getting SO very much spam at my email address that he/she/they need their very own blog to comment on it all.

Today, in fact, Crafty Peaches was sent a delightful invitation to find singles over thirty (Thirty days? that's really old for fruit, unless it's well preserved)

And the address of a website that would let Crafty Peaches train for a job in the field of Health. Because we all would feel better knowing the person on the other side of the stethoscope trained online, between adventures on Runescape.

Now, to find out how many people google Crafty Peaches each day....