Really, I wrote this myself...

Wholy smoke I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since people stopped clapping and Tinkerbell died... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. But I'm sorry you'll just have to take my word for it..

I am overwhelmed with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, learning to speak Japanese, just generally being a hindrance to various lawyers I met recently, my day sprawls from crawling out of bed at 6.30 to midnight. I am not complaining though. it will be fun fun fun till they take my TBird away.

I won't promise anything to you but I will make more of an effort to blog more often. No, really! What do you mean you don't believe me?. Ok, so I delegated

Just say No...

I have a new personal credo. I will now say NO to any request that includes any of the following phrases:

1. You don't have to be creative
2. It'll only take an hour or two of your time (since you're so busy)
3. It's all laid out for you, just follow the directions.
4. You don't have to think
5. You can't mess it up
6. You can't fail.

I believe if you can't fail, you can't succeed either. Without some risk, there's no personal cost, and if there's no personal cost, there can be no personal reward.


I bring this up, because ol' ABC is recruiting for Vacation Bible school this week. They're expecting about 400 children, so they need 200 volunteers. Yeah, you read that right. A whopping 2 to 1 ratio. I could teach algebra to second graders with that kind of ratio. And the ages are 3 (potty trained) to entering 6th grade. Hmmm.


Now, what we do for VBS is go to this lovely company called Group Publishing, and buy or steal the idea for their VBS for the year. It's a packaged kit, with all the games, t-shirt patterns, snack ideas etc. Then we tweak it for our doctrin and rename it, so it's not plagerism. See how that works? Today, our Sunday school class was asked to help decorate for this event. Key words: You don't have to be creative. It's only a couple of hours. It's all laid out for you, can't mess it up.

A trifecta folks! Nope, I won't be there being uncreative for a couple of hours. Too many creative failures to accomplish, yanno?

I like things to cost, to be a challenge. Failure gives me a chance to learn something, and success only has meaning if there is a risk you won't succeed.

Really, if you are in charge of a VBS, and you purchase a kit, even tweaking it for doctrinal postitions, basically 2 things will happen.

1. Everyone will call you afterwards and tell you what a great thing it was, how much they enjoyed it, how the kids had a blast, ad nauseum. You immediately go back to the website, where they will already begin pushing VBS 2008 kits.

2. The calls will come, and they hated it. (Not likely, but work with me here) They will assure you it's not personal, and it's not, because while you shopped and organized and delegated, you will get over it a hell of a lot faster than if it were your "creative baby." And the 2008 kits will already be available on line, so you can go forth and tweak again.

Funny, no one rolls beeswax candle and colors with crayons at VBS anymore....

Some new friends

I just discovered this website, and the search features alone make this a site I will visit quite often.

The Liberal Oasis

For instance, was it ever publicized here in the Republican Holyland that while the Democratic funding bill the President signed did not have a pull out deadline, it does forbid Permanent Bases in Iraq. Period, no guarding cities no guarding oil fields permanently. Yet, apparently, no one in the White House read the bill either, because they are planning permanent bases as we live and breath...

Couldn't say it any better...

Here's a link to a CNN story.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/04/martin.jesus/index.html

Makes me wish I could have coherent thoughts such as those.

Holy Hot Dogs, Batman!

Okay, if your upper middle class church is sitting in the middle of the main area of HUD housing in your town, an area so poor that during the summer, where there is no school lunch, the Methodists from the other side of town bring sack lunches and cereal to all the kiddoes, what is a great way to raise money?

Can you say competitive eating? Like a hot dog eating contest for the church elite leaders? Which leader can eat the most hot dogs in ten minutes? For those of you keeping score at home, the record, from the annual Nathan's Famous July 4th Gluttony Fest is 53 hot dogs in 12 minutes. The pros practice with methods familiar to most bulimics.

So, we have a demonstration of waste, gluttony and all that in an area where people go to bed hungry. What kind of message are we sending here???

One good reason to be a vegetarian...

If Chick Fil A used this cow to convince me to Eat More Chicken, I would listen. Problem is, it's not really a cow.

See, the preacher was giving a talk about the angels that announced the birth of Jesus. He joked that the worship team thought this was one terrifying angel. He told them it's just that they had never seen a real angel, that they were scary in real life. Somehow the poor guy missed the fact that the angel was scary because it looked more like a demonic cow. Even my teen aged son thought so.

Demonic cows like this do belong in novels. Just gotta figure out how. But the downfall of a church starts with demonic cows. They can protest the annual church picnic. Or they can be seen only by the True Believes. Hmm, back to work.

Great Quote du Jour

"Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening." Barbara Tober.

pretty much sums up life here in the Republican Holyland.

Funding Texas Public Education

It wasn't on my to-do list today, but over oatmeal this morning, I think I solved the public education funding problem in Texas. Along with the problem of Division 1A football and basketball players not graduating from universities.

There's a ton of money in College Football. Everyone knows that. And then there are complaints that not enough players in college athletics graduate. Some blame the "raw materials." So let's kill two birds with one stone. Let some money from College Athletics go to Texas Public education.

1. There's lots of money. This goes without saying.
2. You can spend it now or later. Either football (basketball too) funds schools while the future players are getting their basics done, or they'll have to pay for tutors later. Might as well do it now. Just do it, remember?
3. Better educated freshmen tend to graduate. Tend to get better grades.
4. They could at least fund high school athletics. Like farm teams, only state wide.
5. Someone's going to get the money eventually. May as well be public school kids now, rather than some other state program later.
6. Wouldn't you feel better paying $75 a ticket if you knew that some little kindergartener would be able to have a fresh box of crayons?

Not all the money, not most of the money. But could you imagine what 3% of the gate and television money from university athletics could do for your school??